The two-pronged failure of OneTaste (an opinion piece)
My OM Birthday was May 10, 2014 in Boston, MA… just one day before my biological birthday. I took a weekend course with the staff that came mainly from New York and it was awesome. The next few years were quite amazing… to put it in the words of Ruwan Meepagala: “these last 2 years have been the best decade of my life”… the oxytocin was peaking and connections were being made. And now I write this in 2023, 3 years into the deepest distancing and disconnection this planet has seen in awhile.
Looking back, I have felt there were 2 principal failings of OneTaste
Failing 1 – for-profit institute
I sometimes received calls out of the blue. Other times after a Turn-ON I was approached. But in all cases, someone was approaching me as if I were a paycheck to them or OT. The conversation was being held to motivate the need for me to take another course beyond the intro course.
When certain people could not get me to take the course, they would become angry because their precious pseudo-truth of being-separate and being able to create their reality was failing in front of their eyes.
Failing 2 – Violent conflict resolution
I attended 2 conflict resolution sessions in OT. Neither I or the other party had any training in what was occurring. And both I and the other party were behaving as if each other was at fault. Imagine that: a group that swears that building up your orgasm allows you to create your reality has conflict resolution sessions that amount to nothing more than blaming, shaming and finger-pointing.
I have trained in non-violent communication and it would’ve been a better way to interact
Non-violent communication is a well-established and successful approach to dealing with conflict. But one key thing about NVC is: you can make offers and you can express your feelings and needs and you can seek strategies that meet both parties needs. But ultimately, you do not have any control over the other party.
This is in contrast the OT practice of banning people simply for speaking their mind: they had no interest in non-violent, compassionate communication. the conflict sessions were violent expressions of fear and the strategies were not cooperative or harmonic.
Failing 3 – trying to ignore long-established spiritual truths
If you take a look at a “solid” spiritual system such as yoga-vedanta or Buddhism, you will find some commonality in theory and practice. And the commonalities amongst bona fide spiritual systems are well at-odds with what oneTaste was trying to do. In all fairness, OneTaste did deify Orgasm, but they did so as a for-profit educational company not as a not-for-profit religious organization. So the comparison is not fair. But again,
the main failing of OneTaste was their attempt to be a for-profit institute…. and teach a practice whose very basis is: an OM is transaction-free – can you see the hypocrisy?
But let’s take a quick look at the less-than-fun spirituality of quality systems and compare it with OneTaste. let’s use basic Theravada Buddhism:
| bona fide spirituality | OneTaste | Comments |
| There is no personal self: most of what you ascribe to yourself is impersonal phenomena passing by. Sure you can attach or reject such phenomena, but that is simply an attempt to glue things on to a fictional you that does not really exist | You are a unique powerful individual who has the courage to live their convictions through the power of Orgasm. | Most people in OneTaste are tragically identified with a body that they have no true ownership over. At the moment of death, they will look back at their body and all their connections with attachment and remorse. |
| Whatever is perceived is impermanent: it rises and it falls if left alone. Suffering occurs when you try to persist something. And it is a futile effort because impermanence is the great law. | You can be, do and have whatever you want if you have a regular OM practice and fill up on Orgasm…and if you pay for our advanced courses… they had the nerve to charge their own staff… I know staff who took out loans to go to Magic School. | |
| Phenomena occurs due to the doctrine of dependent origination: when it is time for something to occur it will and “you” have no control over it occurring or going away. | You are a unique powerful individual who has the courage to live their convictions through the power of Orgasm. | |
| Desire is the basis of suffering – because desire means the mind is not relaxed. When you get what you desire, the mind relaxes momentarily, until another pops. The way to freedom is to note the thought of desire and return to your object of meditation. The way to suffering is to chase after desire. | Desire is your birthright: You can be, do and have whatever you want if you have a regular OM practice and fill up on Orgasm. | Very few serious spiritual paths glorify desire. They warn against it. You might find a crazy-wisdom Tibetan tantra (tan = body, tra=system) teacher who uses desire for liberation. |
Orgasm: The Hippie Movement of the Millenials
OneTaste and Orgasmic meditation could have been the new hippie movement. With OM experience group OM sessions, oxytocin was peaking and flying and the connection juice was snowballing into a worldwide true-love affair: love does not need time: only intimacy needs that. I have had 15 minute OMs of complete merging with my other partner and in most cases, I knew nothing about the other person other than their name and the fact that when I asked “would you like to OM?” they said yes and got down to business.
The reason that oneTaste and OM did not become the hippie movement is that they tried to charge money for their Free Love, unlike the hippies.
Another reason that oneTaste and OM did not become the hippie movement is that their conflict resolution sessions were not based on peace and love, unlike the hippies.
And the reason the hippie movement and onetaste are no longer around is because both movements were spirited not spiritual. A spirited practice is one where you work yourself up into some sort of peak state and then deify that state. A spiritual practice is one where there is no you and any sort of state, be it peak state or trough state is temporary and not worth trying to achieve and most certainly not worth being attached to and by all means nothing to charge people money for.
Now it’s time to share frames
I’ve received feedback on this article, primarily from OMwiki, the independent non-partisan voice of Orgasmic Meditation
“But it was spectacularly successful”
One viewer of this post wrote:
You say in your article that OneTaste failed because it attempted to be a for profit institute. It didn’t fail. Its objective was to maximize profit. In that respect it was spectacularly successful and made the principal founder very rich.
name witheld for privacy reasons
First things first, you say “It didn’t fail.” – oh really, so where is it today if it didn’t fail?
Next you say: “Its objective was to maximize profit” -> ok, so how much profit are they generating now? the profit they generated is similar to a male shooting his wad. Profitability without sustainabilty is nothing in my eyes and they have not sustained themselves as a company because they formed a predatorial relationship with their user base. And that penchant for profits is what possibly ran many people off. It certainly was offensive to me.
Next you say: “made the principal founder very rich.” – well, ‘rich’ is one thing, wealthy is another. Wealth includes healthy relationships and long-term growth. So yes, I would say she became rich but at the expense of not becoming wealthy… and she did it at the expense of other people becoming broke financially, emotionally, socially and otherwise.
Finally we have to be clear about what we mean about OneTaste. once Nicole sold OneTaste, they started charging 10 to 100 times what the fees were under Nicole. And they promptly shuttered their doors a year or two later… now, why did that happen? lawsuits? criminal investigation? I’m not sure. All I can say is that when I smell money on someone’s breath, it repulses me and probably did the same to others. But in the end it’s just guesswork.
Origins of Orgasmic Meditation
From Noel Morals:
Vic Baranco founded Morehouse. History is on their site.
RJ Testerman founded Welcomed Consensus after he and his friends took classes at Morehouse.
Steve and Vera Bodansky wrote about it in their book.
Nicole studied Deliberate Orgasm at WC where she lived a couple of times.
Later she took classes at Morehouse.
She studied with Ray Vetterlein at his community in Brisbane.
Then she and Rob Kandell started the Insight Institute teaching OM. Insight Institute became OneTaste.
Yia can correct me if I am wrong.
And who was it that walked up to Nicole at a party and told her to pull down her panties, thereby giving her her first experience of OM? It was Erwan Davon. http://www.erwandavon.com/sensuality-expansion-program/.
Lubricant
I asked about Lubricant in OM wiki and here is a summary of the responses:
- Coconut oil
- Butter or Olive Butter (a non-dairy alternative, one of many)
- Honey Girl Organics
- Lucas Papaw
- Sierra Sage Organics Southern Butter
- Vaseline?
As you can see, I am listing oil-based lubricants because of their viscosity and because I was trained on using lubricants that come from a jar. But water-based organic lubricants such as Good are recommended by some.
The Hub is gone…
I had many great times on the OM Hub, met many OM partners and had some fierce arguments and regret to learn that it has been closed down.
Is OM a Sacred Practice?
I don’t. In various contexts, the word “sacred” denotes separation between that which is worthy of exaltation and attention, and that which is not. “Sacred” is a form of terminology that derives its meaning from duality; there is no sacred without also the profane. And if we are going to place OM coherently within some kind of historical context of the range of connotations and applications of that term “sacred”, surely OM falls out on the “profane” side. So OM is not a sacred practice, but a profane one.
Alan Watts has this to say about duality – “So in Zen, a duality between a higher self and a lower self is not made. Because if you believe in the higher self, this is a simple trick of the lower self… If you think you have a lower self, or an ego to get rid of, then you fight against it, nothing strengthens the delusion that it exists more than that. So this tremendous schizophrenia in humans beings, of thinking that they are rider and horse, soul in command of body, or will in command of passions – wrestling with them; all that kind of split thinking simply aggravates the problem, and we get more and more split.”
Typically when I have heard the term “sacred” applied to orgasm, there is some kind of hidden neurosis underlying that application – it may be construed as an act of embrace, but it is also an act of schism, of pushing away that which does not meet the criteria. Rejection of the profane, that which is perceived as beneath us.
“Sacredness” is a concept that is very easily hijacked by the prejudiced mind as a way to denounce the feminine. People get killed behind this notion. OM is about the feminine. Even popular notions of divine feminine, which may or may not meet the criteria of “sacredness”, can become coopted with extreme ease into rejection of other forms of feminine. What about the non-divine feminine? I smell a rat; feminine itself needs no additional moniker. It is simply the feminine. The “divine” piece is a cloak which actually bears the mark of the turned-off masculine, once again claiming false authority to deem the feminine worthy or unworthy.
Always, that first touch on my pussy
This is a post by Valerie Spinner to the now-defunct OM Hub:
Always, that first touch on my pussy. Always that charge that awakens me, gets my immediate and full attention. I love that sensation, icy hot zing on my clit, that travels through my entire pussy up, my spine to the back of my bottom front teeth, inside my right ear and through my legs, out of the tips of my toes.
This time, too. These next strokes are not quite on the spot. I go with it to see if I can transmit the request to move higher, higher, higher still, and to the right, just a hair. It’s transmitting although, slowly, and not fully. Breath, feel, notice. What does my desire want?
Ouch. Shards. Breath into it. Release. The shards subside. Still not the spot.
What does my desire want? A hair diagonally up and to the right. The request is barely audible to me as it comes out of my mouth. Adjustment is made.
Noticing, noticing, something is off. Another request. Another adjustment. Something is off. What is this? What does my desire want?
I’m noticing a numbness. The spot is buried under the numbness, the numbness that is encompassing, oval, wider, longer, deeper.
Breath into it. Feel, notice the point of contact. So distant. Like a spongy cushion blocking or muffling. Like insulation that cut through wiring.
What does my desire want?
Should I say something or just breath and notice?
“My pussy feels numb. It’s just numb.”
He breathes, and I feel an energetic pause, while his brain computes: numbness, what course of action to do? ah yes.
Ever so slowly he lightens the pressure from the tip of his stroking finger. The stroke becomes stillness.
Stillness.
Ever so slowly, so lightly, such a delicate stroke. The stillness is replaced.
What does my desire want?
This stroke draws me out. I feel this opening, melting, budding, blooming. Slowly. Craving, desire is building, building, building as I unfold.
This loving present stroker keeps on stroking. I’m going up. No. I’m expanding spherically in slow motion, a star exploding. There is also a ball of energy between us on my right side, it fills the space between the left side of his chest, arm pit. It is white, light blue, light purple, white, a hint of whitish gold.
I keep opening and unfolding. My voice deepens as involuntary sounds emanate from somewhere deep inside. This place is dark, so very dark. It is a mouth that opens wider and wider, it yawns awake. It grumbles as it senses the light shining on it.
It roars. It is hungry. So very very hungry.
What do you want desire?
FEED ME!
Wave after wave of a thick, heated, molten pure electrical power spreads through this vessel. Gasping.
What do you want desire?
FEED ME!
What is happening? Just feel. (shallow breathing)
The waves keep on while deeper and deeper I go. Desire takes me deeper. and deeper still. There is growling and roaring from the deepest places as the waves continue.
What do you want desire?
I AM SO HUNGRY!! FEED ME!!
Two minutes….
no.
No.
NO.
My stroker, bless him, adorn him with flowers and love.
He knows how to ground me. It took many months to learn as I fly too close to the sun. But, I’ve never been here before. This is not near the sun. This is the opposite direction. Gravity is losing its grip. The grounding strokes do NOTHING.
I am expanding more, up to the heavens, towards the outer reaches of the universe and deep into my soul. I cannot stop. I am entering ancientness itself. I find it difficult to breathe as she gulps.
There is nothing my stroker can do. Desire is clear. She wants to be fed. She will be fed. She expands, ever more. Breathing, deeply yet quickly. How?
My stroker must further adjust the grounding strokes to help bring me back for I am gone and nothing else is working. I am grateful for his skill, his finesse, his vulnerability. His willingness to be present with me in this unfathomable moment, and bring me back.
Bring me back… I don’t want to leave this place. We just met. I am frightened by her. I am in awe of her. I want to feed her. I want her to lead me, to take me, to open me further. There is desperation to not leave her behind. She is still so very hungry.
Grounding pressure. Liquid starts to build in my eyes.
I whisper, “more up pressure”.
I get what I ask for.
It brings me back some. In this moment, there is nothing that will make me fully let go of her.
Yet, my body, regretfully releases, not fully, but enough to let go of the bear hug grip that we’d had on each other.
Don’t leave me I feel her say.
I promise to feed her. I promise to not leave her.
Can I keep that promise?
Stroker, towel stroke, towel placement. I need a squeeze. He knows and acts.
I am still not back. I need to be back. This life calls.
Please, I need a smack on my pussy. Done. I am smiling. I have tears in my eyes.
Still not really back. One more. done.
WTF? What just happened? Where is this? WTF? I am so hungry. I am so hungry. I have no other words in this moment.
My stroker says, its ok to cry if you need to cry.
Shuddering. I am so hungry. My desire is infinite. I cannot ever be satiated. At least that’s what I think in this moment.
Where did I go? The beginning of the infinite depths of my being. The beginning of the other side, through the depths. How is this possible? Breathe, feel.
Tears and snot are streaming.
Welcome home.
I am told there is more. I cannot fathom that, and yet I know it is true. I went to an inner chamber or just opened the gate to my personal heaven. Maybe both. But I have not gone to the inner chamber of this chamber or all the other inner chambers, nor have I seen all of this heaven.
For now, right now, this very instant, I am taking in the view with every sense with every breath, that is, when I remind myself to breath through the awe. My desire wants to be fed with attention, to be fed with pleasure, to be seen, felt, tasted, heard, lit up. My desire is ancient. She is an ancient Priestess.
Sexual Health in General
- “The hormones such as the DHEA Hormones and Oxytocin are being produced whenever cunnilingus happens. These hormones are capable of preventing cancer to an individual.
This act does not only satisfy the urges of man and woman but also helps improve the health condition of an individual. It is a way of enjoying the pleasure while having health benefits.” :-p
http://phitimes.com/eating-a-vagna-cures-cancer-according-to-cancer-treatment-studies/
Feel over formula
I was once stroking a woman in the New York circle and she climaxed very hard. I continued to stroke at the 1 o’clock position with the same pressure but she quickly informed me that was too much sensation.
That was about 1 year ago now.
In the past few days here in Atlanta, I was stroking a girl and she climaxed. As a reflex action, I immediately lightened my stroke.
But innately I knew that I was being a robot. If I had really been feeling, I would have climaxed her several more times to give her just what she wanted.
I have to remember: feel over formula as @vivian once told me.